Where I am the CEO

Did you not know that all of us are CEOs though we may not get paid anything for it?

Well, we are.

I am the CEO of “my own company” which means that I get to “chair” the Board meetings, and hand out the assignments. To myself.

Here’s how it goes over here. I wake up in the morning and decide to call a Board meeting. I expect everyone to attend – and that means that I will be there, of course.

At the Board meeting I announce the agenda for the day.

Audrey needs to do the following things, and no excuses will be tolerated as to their not getting done. In other words – zero tolerance for neglect or error.

Certainly we’ve all heard that phrase many times at our regular jobs, right?

Here’s the agenda for today, as I announced at my Board meeting early this morning. By the way, nobody is allowed to be late for an Audrey Board meeting.

1a. Get the heck out of bed and fortify yourself with 1 cup of coffee, caffeinated. This will be the only caffeinated drink you will have all day so that you don’t counteract the Topril which is keeping your heart arrhythmia in check.
1b. Take morning medications which are Paxil, Topril, and multivitamins.
2. Cook hard boiled eggs and asparagus for the salad you will make for Elena’s party.
3. Do the laundry for the week paying special attention to the uniforms which get pretty dirty within a few days of wearing them.
4. Write 2 checks for distribution at Elena’s party.
5. Wrap her presents and remember the present for Gabi so she doesn’t feel left out.
6. Wash hair.
7. Style hair.
8. Call Lillian and find out if David can come and bring the snow plow to do my driveway, front walk, and front steps, and can then shovel the steps from the deck to make it easier for Hugo to do his business in the back.
9. Figure out what you want to wear to the party today.
10. Make the salad for the party throwing in the asparagus and hard boiled eggs.
11. Get dressed for the party.
12. Let Hugo out the back door to make his business.
13. Go to the party. Bring a little bit of vodka so you can really enjoy.
14. Come back from the party.
15. Check out what David has done and supplement with shoveling where the wind has blown back some of what he has cleaned up.
16. Make sure he threw enough Blizzard ice melter on the steps and the driveway – otherwise supplement.
17. Feed Hugo his dinner.
18. Sit down and watch Masterpiece Theater at 9 on Channel 13 – it’s a great show from a book by Jane Austin.
19. Take night time medication.
20. Lights out, go to bed!

21. The meeting is adjourned.

P.S. During the week, my CEO functions are greatly increased as I am working from 8:30-1:30 followed by numerous personal chores to be performed in the afternoon. First chance to sit down is generally around 5-6 in the evening when I have done everything I can think of for that day.

P.P.S. So – you think that being CEO is a cushy fun job? Guess again!