I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty!(with apologies to West Side Story)

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty (with apologies to West Side Story)

I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty, and gay
And I pity any girl who isn’t me today –
I feel charming, oh so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty that I hardly can believe I’m real!..........

Ah, Natalie Wood! You were so very pretty! As a child star and as a young adult – what in the world happened to you on that boat anyhow!!!!

Well, Natalie didn’t make it to old age, but I like to think if she had she would still be oh, so pretty!

Quick flash to Audrey sitting on the couch watching 5 foot 10 inch, 115 lb. models strut around in beautiful clothes and accessories on QVC and HSN! Sigh! Oh, so pretty!!!!!!!!!

You get hooked, and think – well, that could be me too if only I had that top, those pants, that dress, that necklace, earrings, bracelets! Oh so pretty!

You definitely don’t bother to remember that you are not 20 years old, nor 5 feet 9-10 inches, do not weigh 115 lb. – in short, there is absolutely nothing similar between you and the models on these shows except that we are all female and want to be pretty!

You toy with the idea that real prettiness comes from the inside and the outside IS what it IS – you really can’t change it, and at almost 80 years of age (hey! I still have three and a half months left at 79 – let’s not rush things!) there is no way you are going to look like those models on screen. Nor are you Vivien Leigh in Gone With the Wind as Scarlett O’Hara – hardly an ugly duckling!

Still, wouldn’t it be nice to own one of those outfits where you could pretend to be “oh, so pretty!” Maybe even 3 or 4 outfits to be even prettier – wouldn’t it be nice to have so much money that you could buy this one, and that one, this too, how about that, oh shucks! Just buy them all and feel virtuous by giving some away – that’s the ticket!

This, my friends, is how you become addicted to 5 closets full of clothes plus 2 garbage bags full of clothes you are discarding and taking to your church in which poor people can also feel pretty for a dollar or two, or maybe even nothing.

It’s really fun to dress up as you wished you could have as a little girl in your mother’s best clothes! I never got a chance to do that because even if it had been allowed, and it wasn’t, already at the age of 10 I would not have been able to fit into my mother’s clothes. No, you’ve got it wrong! It isn’t that I was too small for them, it’s that her clothes were too small to fit me!!

So now at an advanced age I am getting to stand in front of a mirror trying on a whole bunch of clothes I don’t need so that I can “make believe” I am Nat Wood, and I’m so pretty!!!

And if you don’t think this is great fun, well, guess again! It is no matter how you look in the clothes you bought. They’re all yours, all you have to do is pay for them! And you can play dress-up forever!

But deep down inside a tiny voice is fighting to be heard. And it’s saying, Audrey! Don’t buy another thing. You want to feel really pretty? Take that money and start helping a whole bunch of people down and out who just need a helping hand up so that they can feel worthwhile to themselves and others. Sit down and write a check NOW to one of these people or animals. And then another, another, and another, and before you know it you will have spread some joy where there was none, and given someone hope that somewhere someone cares about what is happening to them. And when you’re finished doing that, call your children and find out who would like to go to lunch –a super burger? (Lionel) A steak? (Anthony) – an eggplant sandwich? (Lillian). Then find out which grandchild would like to have lunch with Grandma – steak (David) 2 cheeseburger’s at McDonald’s (Elena) salmon and pasta (Emily), come on Olivia, Daniel, Audrey, Jon when you’re here visiting – and don’t forget the chicken nuggets brought home to Gabi.

Isn’t all the above much more satisfying than to have another package delivered to your door with another price tag hanging from it, to put where? Wear when? More than enough already!!! Not needed!!!!

And so, Natalie, I will leave you dancing in your new dress in front of the mirror – where you look a whole lot better than I ever could. And I shall dance inwardly at the smile I have brought to someone’s face, or the contented sigh from some shelter dog licking his chops because I have supplied him with his daily bowl of food, the medical care and schooling I was able to give a child in Zambia with the big grin of thank you on her face – all over – everywhere I can reach to bring a moment of happiness and feeling pretty to lots of living creatures including both humans and animals. And THAT makes me feel very pretty indeed! It makes me smile and laugh and these add to my prettiness as can nothing else as I connect with other people.

And you will feel very, very pretty if you reach out in whatever ways you can to other people. Better than if you are adorned with diamonds from head to toe. These may make you glitter, but they won’t really turn you into Cinderella at the ball! An act of kindness, however, will.

So – go for it – and watch West Side Story again, or if you’ve never seen it, see it for the first time. Look how pretty Natalie Wood looks in this movie, and look who’s dancing alongside of her!!!! Why, that’s you!!!! And you look oh so pretty too – because you have reached out and touched someone, and now God is smiling at you. Can’t beat that, can you!